Are you struggling with Rejection? Here’s why it can actually be a Blessing.

Remember that rejection is simply protection and redirection.

Being a woman in 2021 already requires you to be resilient enough as it is. But as women, I think it’s super important that we discuss how to deal with rejection as we simultaneously learn how to build mental strength. Resilience is an important skill to master because setbacks are ultimately inevitable. Life will never be an endless series of wins (though if this is the case for you, please spill the tea as I’m incredibly jealous!). The bottom line is that we must be equally appreciative of the low points and potential failures that we may experience in life as we are of the highs. Whether positive or negative, all of these moments serve their meaningful purpose in our growth and development. Rather than seeing rejection as the enemy, we need to learn how to flip our perspective and see how it can be a good thing.

Listen to “Episode 14- Understanding how Rejection Makes you Stronger” on Spreaker.

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This post is not a cheat sheet to emotional immunity or having bulletproof feelings. That concept is not something that I believe in. Instead, I highly encourage women to embrace being “soft.” There’s so much power in vulnerability and embracing our range of emotions. In a world that requires so much of us, where we often give and don’t receive as much in return, the least that we can do is give ourselves a space to feel.

Instead, this post will clarify precisely why we should embrace the challenging emotions that we face. By the end of today’s article, you’ll be able to flip rejection on its head and learn to empower yourself to be a more resilient woman. This lesson applies to all stages of life: in the early stages of our careers, in friendship, or in romantic situations. We can work together to figure out how to take these moments that make us feel unwanted or rejected and figure out the beauty in them.

#1. Learn how to process your emotions when you get rejected

Yes, we all know that rejection is painful, but we need to understand why it hurts so much. The best way to uncover this truth is by finding a sound outlet for self-expression. The sweet spot is finding an activity that you can turn to that is productive and makes you feel good. 

One of the most healthy outlets that I’ve found for understanding your emotions is writing. However, I want to make it known that the options are endless! The most crucial part is finding an avenue for releasing your feelings. Some common examples include writing, painting, running, but it is entirely up to you! Different people find different ways of self-soothing. The goal is to explore what feels right until you find the path that helps you release and process your emotions.

I enjoy writing because it allows me to get everything I’m feeling onto a physical, tangible page without interruption. Expressing yourself in this way is a process we commonly refer to as “brain dumping.” In addition, this writing style allows me to pinpoint exactly what’s going wrong in my life or where my feelings and potentially even anxiety are stemming from.

It’s important to acknowledge what you feel because, as I mentioned previously, rejection can bring up many undesirable and negative feelings. Feeling unwanted, embarrassed, discouraged, undesirable are all manifestations that can potentially come from rejection. Research even proves that rejection can intensify feelings of jealousy, loneliness, and anxiety.

We should never be afraid to admit this to ourselves. Feeling low is uncomfortable, but it happens! People often say, “the only way out is through.” The same idea applies here: you can’t move past the hurt or ugly feelings without first recognizing that they are there.

#2. Acknowledge the positive actions that you took rather than focusing only on the negative

Part of dealing with rejection more effectively is understanding why it can be a good thing (AKA a blessing in disguise). Experiencing rejection means that you took the time to put yourself out there. You put yourself in a position to be told no, which means that you took a risk. Do you want to look back at your life and realize that you only went for what was safe or felt like it was guaranteed? Or do you want to feel like you genuinely want for everything you possibly could, no matter the cost? The second one sounds a lot more enticing.

People who have built up a lot of resilience and mental strength have a growth mindset. Additionally, the people who we look to as the archetypal vision of success are constantly putting themselves in positions that make them uncomfortable or that push them past the limit.

Think of the stories of successful founders; what do we often hear?

• “I heard more no’s than yes’s.”
• I got shut down so many times.
• I invested $X Million and lost all of it.

None of this sounds fun. It sounds terrible! However, experiencing these rough patches that seem catastrophic has allowed these people that we consider “successful” to gain the knowledge and experience required to reach their current point. If you don’t get rejected ever in life, it means you’re playing this game extremely safe. So, I’m going to challenge you to take a step outside.

Hearing a series of “no’s” can sometimes be a sign that you’re pushing yourself to be better and to grow rather than taking them as a shot at your value.

#3. Be Kind to Yourself

When rejection gets you down, you should shift your focus to being kind to yourself as hard as it is. Self-denigration will never be in style. Never speak to yourself in a way that you wouldn’t want someone else to talk to you. Try uplifting yourself rather than tearing yourself down. Remind yourself of all the things that make you great and write them down if you need to!

#4. Rejection is Redirection

Rejection is a blessing! Think about it: if the object of your desire was truly meant to be yours, don’t you think you would’ve gotten it? If you get passed over for an opportunity, whether it’s professional, social, or even romantic! There has to be a reason. That reason may not get revealed to you right away, but it will become apparent to you in due time. There’s a chance that it wasn’t the right fit for you, or even that you’re on the path to something much, much more incredible!

In the case that you do experience rejection, reflect! First, ask yourself what the takeaways were from the situation, whether it’s positive or negative. Then, think about what you did well and what you can do better in the future. Leading with reflection is a much more constructive way to process your setbacks.

 Whether you’re on the receiving end of the rejection or the one who hast to do the rejecting, Understand that this is a moment to grow and become a better you. If you enjoyed this blog post, please let me know by leaving a comment and sharing some methods that help you process rejection! Also, don’t forget to spread this message and share this article using one of the buttons below.