Learning How to Face Fear Head on AND 6 Ways to Manage it
When I published my last episode in December, I was convinced that I was finished with podcasting. I figured I’d find a new way to deliver long-form content to my readers. I said I’d stick to blogging, trying to build up the SEO authority of my website. I said I would try YouTube and try to grow there because I heard that video content is good for building trust with your audience.
All of the social media and digital marketing woo-woo got in my head! I got away from this podcast even though it was my original starting place and my original intention for bringing The Chroma Network to life.
In this episode, we’re going to talk all about fear: what it means, how it manifests, and why we need to put our foot down and finally stand up to it!
Table of Contents
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What Is Fear?
Formally, the dictionary definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.”
More informally, fear is something that we all deal with and have to come to grips with at some point. No one likes fear, and we typically view fear, or people who struggle with it as having some form of weakness.
Fear is a blocker: it holds us back from our ultimate mission and prevents us from accomplishing the things we want to, and holds us back from becoming the people we want to be.
Fear also couples with other emotions. Think Doubt and Anxiety.
Feeding into fear and not knowing how to counter it or manage it can manifest in so many ways, so that’s why this conversation is so important to have.
How does fear Affect the Body?
From an evolutionary standpoint, fear has been around. From as far back as the hunter-gatherer days, fear has existed to keep us alive. It’s the reason we’re all still here…alive.
Fear exists in the body to protect us. Think about it in that more archaic hunter-gatherer context: it’s better to see your shadow and jump than not see your shadow…and get eaten by a lion!
We know how fear feels in the body you get tense, start breathing quickly, heart rate goes up, you get goosebumps – your body is preparing you to fight or run.
Self Reflection Questions for managing feelings of fear and anxiety
What Is Fear?
Formally, the dictionary definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.”
More informally, fear is something that we all deal with and have to come to grips with at some point. No one likes fear, and we typically view fear, or people who struggle with it as having some form of weakness.
Fear is a blocker: it holds us back from our ultimate mission and prevents us from accomplishing the things we want to, and holds us back from becoming the people we want to be.
Fear also couples with other emotions. Think Doubt and Anxiety.
Feeding into fear and not knowing how to counter it or manage it can manifest in so many ways, so that’s why this conversation is so important to have.
How does fear Affect the Body?
From an evolutionary standpoint, fear has been around. From as far back as the hunter-gatherer days, fear has existed to keep us alive. It’s the reason we’re all still here and alive!
Fear exists in the body to protect us. Think about it in that more archaic hunter-gatherer context: it’s better to see your shadow and jump than not see your shadow and get eaten by a lion!
We know how fear feels physically. You get tense, start breathing quickly, heart rate goes up, you get goosebumps – your body is preparing you to fight or run.
Self Reflection Questions for managing feelings of fear and anxiety
#1: What am I afraid of?
Often, these things that create these deep, scary emotions inside of us boil down to the idea of control. We exist in fear of not being able to control everything that’s happening to us. Truthfully letting go of this need to be in control constantly is what’s best.
Learn to detach and become acquainted with the idea that everything that’s happening to you is for the greater good.
#2 What will happen if this doesn’t go the way I anticipated
Now, this is an approach that I’ve discovered in therapy. Whenever I catastrophize, my therapist will stop me and ask a simple question: “And what if that doesn’t happen?”
This question stops me in my tracks every time. Most times, it helps bring me back down to earth and note that the thing that I’m harping on is not that bad and won’t be the life or death situation that I’m making it out to be.
This sort of reflection helps me to realize that this moment I’m imagining is survivable.
#3 How realistic is this thing that I’m allowing to take up my time?
It’s hard to talk yourself down from anxiety-induced thought spirals. trust me, I know
What helps me is telling myself that this thing I keep harping on has not happened, is not happening, and likely will not happen, so why devote so much time to it?
#4 What happens if this goes right?
Thinking about the potential positive outcomes can be the game-changer that can change your mood and uplift your spirits.
Focus on the good that may come out of a situation (even if it’s hard to identify at first). Shifting your focus in this way can be much more comforting than imaging the potential negatives, especially when the outcome of either alternative is 50/50.
#5 Why do I need to be the expert NOW?
Often, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything perfectly straight out the gate, but why? This added pressure takes away so much of the fun! Dealing with the reality of being “wrong” is a challenge. There is no denying that. But it is much better to learn from your mistakes and gain the wisdom to not repeat them vs. never having to struggle, think critically, or have to figure things out.
Allow yourself to be a beginner and take in all of the knowledge from those who are more experienced!
#6 What does failure mean to me?
It’s time we reevaluate our relationship with failure.
Not seeing the results you want right away does not equate to failure. It’s much more productive if, instead, we think of it as a teaching point and ask ourselves what these moments are here to teach us.
While planning this episode, I came across a quote from Oprah Winfrey, which could not have been more on time!
I recently read her book, “What I Know for Sure,” which taught me so many important life lessons and is most certainly on my must-read list.
Oprah says, “there is no such thing as failure. failure is just life trying to move you in another direction.”
(and In true Oprah fashion) What I know for sure is that I’m a firm believer in this
Once we can accept that everything happens to us for the greater good, the tables turn. The hard Things are meant to teach us a lesson. Rather than beating yourself up – ask yourself what you can learn!
Take some time to step back from the situation and look at it from the birds-eye. After some time passes, you might realize that there are things you know now that you didn’t before!
